Write a letter to your mother or father to express and release your invalidation and unresolved truth. Go into detail on any hurt, disappointment and mental/ emotional/physical abuse. You are not allowed to accept any responsibility in this letter. Start simple with these statements:
I lost out on ____ because of your parenting.
The truth is, I wish you knew…
When it comes to me, I wish you understood...
All you had to do was ____ to do right by me.
Ever since I can remember all I ever wanted from you was
At the root of it all you could have given me ___ and that would have been enough
I was feeling ____ when I needed you...
Because of you my jaded fews on love and life reflect:
When I think about what I had to do to make up for your loss I feel...
Here are the ways you failed me then ...and now:
I deserved the type of parent that would…
Complete this to understand what your unmet needs are and to give accountability where it’s due as it relates to your inherited responses, patterns and views.
Comment below for support!
Soulfull Family, I am doing my work too and writing a letter to my father. It will look allot more like our newest prompt, so stay tuned!
I hope this vulnerable moment empowers you to continue forward in grace on your healing journey. This our soulfully safe space. I wrote this letter to my mom sometime ago (maybe 2016), and felt called to share today. Writing this gave me so much insight into what my soul needed.
Dear Mom, I'm angry. I resent myself for my truth. I'm hurt. I feel used. I feel responsible for you and my brother. I feel like I'm supposed to be the parent. I worry about you so much. I feel like you're not thinking about where you'll be and what you might need in the future. I'm worried about your health. I do not believe you'll be honest with me. I worry you'll end up in jail again. I feel guilty for lying for you. I feel rushed into hitting milestone's. I've had panic attacks after our phone calls and interactions which usually are about: something you need, who in our family is sick, reasons to spend money I usually don't have, holidays planning, vacation/events plans, listing all the people I no longer talk to which reminds me that I'm guarded and antisocial now. Sometimes, I think you're not being honest about your health. I stopped coming over because I always have to take you somewhere or fix something or put something together. I feel I'm the opposite of who you think I am and so when you try to love me in your language it feels very foreign to me. I don't like shopping it gives me anxiety. I chronically cope with not being able to express how I feel especially under duress.
More than anything, I want you to love yourself as much as you love me.
Your Daughter,
Kiana