Bitchin' & Moanin' - Freely Vent, Complain, Rage, & Cry (No Judgement)

Whew! I am so glad I have space because I desperately need it! I am 26! Tired & I think depressed! I am coming to terms with the severity of my moms abuse & gaslighting. I’ve been living with my parents for years because I justified her abuse because she was a victim in my eyes but turns out she was a grade a textbook narc. She left almost a year ago & I’ve been in shock and processing since. I think I can say for certain I don’t want her in my life. My dad is working on fixing things with me but I don’t know if I’m open. I have dreams and goals but don’t have the mental capacity to go after them. I am lost hurt & broken & want to cry everyday. I’ve been unemployed for months but thankfully I start a new job Monday & soon I’ll be able to get my finances back under control & start my dreams and passions. I also have to say I feel dump and mentally empty. Worthless and like I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life. I don’t know if I want it or if I feel like I deserve to be alone. I feel like I can’t even think for myself. I don’t know if I want marriage and/or children. I just don’t know and that hurts more than anything.